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On Balance

On-balance

At it’s best, coming here to write things down is a great reminder of all of the things that I have discovered/explored during the week. At it’s worst, it’s a reminder of bad habits that I have carried on with, week after week. I work too much.

I gave myself a day off this week. I thought that I would get a million things done. I thought that I would get to do a million things. Instead, I practically did nothing besides…well a little work, a little work-out, and finally: I cooked myself the most delicious steak. It was a good day, but I need more like it. I need more days to discover and explore. I need more days with friends.

I’m working on it, I’m working on it, I’m working on it…

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30 Minute Playlist – On Balance

Pictures this week:

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Election ^IMG_3510.JPG

Pre-Karaoke^

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Phantasmagoric

PHATAS

I finally completed my massive project. With that off of my plate, I finally took a nice long, relaxing break.

JUST KIDDING !!!

Nope, I am nuts. I immediately entered into a series of 14 hours days at the Rogers Centre; I wore steel toe boots and a high visibility vest and wondered how I ended up here.

I think I will start by blaming the beautiful weather. It gave me the propulsion and ultimately the hubris to believe that I was capable of being steeped in the never-ending chaotic world that is putting on a show.

Last year at work, we were down a few people for the U2 show. I had steel toes from my carpentry class, as well as a few friends who had steel toes, so I volunteered us. Together we disassembled the VIP area and took down the Edge’s private dressing room.  We could hear Joshua Tree reverberating throughout the space as we took down drapes, and couches and lamps. I remember that Brianne couldn’t believe that these ‘VIPs’ had left the space in such disarray. She felt that the parenting they received should be called into question. Drinks EVERYWHERE. A bonafide mess. We cried a little when they discarded the half-full bottles of wine and champagne. It’s okay to work and drink as a VIP. It’s NOT okay to work and drink when you are a stagehand.

We finished up our job early so they sent us to the field to help with the rest of production. To the field we went.

There is this term phantasmagoric that refers to something that seems dreamlike or surreal but is, in fact, a man-made optical illusion. Before the film, lanterns were used to create the effect of apparitions or skeletons to thrill and terrify an audience. They called this Phantasmagoria. It is alleged that the first time the Lumiere brothers played L’Arrivée d’un train en gare de La Ciota  (footage of a train entering a station) the audience ran in fear. When you put on a show like U2- I think this is the intent- to create a moment that it feels surreal and that moves you. The sound, the scale, the crowd, the pyros. The goddamn confetti. How can our brains even digest the amount of energy that is in this one space? The amount of power that is being funneled into this one experience.

But then again- I’m not a live show kind of person.

I love the symphony. I love seeing live jazz. I LOVE music. I love live albums. I’m not crazy about going to see live shows. I have no idea how to explain this. I don’t like sandwiches either. Wanna fight?

But- walking out into the field and seeing the dismantling of this temporary structure (the stage) in this enormous space was to me- phantasmagoric. I was awestruck. There were hundreds of people taking apart the stage, like ants picking apart a crumb on the sidewalk. These large trucks come roaring through like elephants and there are forklifts mulling about like cattle. It feels like you are watching the nature channel in an alternative universe. There is a flow- one body made up of many pieces moving towards one goal. And like a Buddhist sand mandala, we build it to take it apart. It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

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^U2 CREW

30 Minute Playlist- Phantasmagoric

 

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Tracing a Shadow

TRACING-A-SHADOW

I almost called this blog post ‘Death By a Thousand Paper Cuts’ because of compounded work/work problems coming from various directions over the previous weekend. But then the sun came out, and who has time to dwell on petty work problems when the sun is out?

I read this thing about making art that I liked.

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A Jehovah witness has just felt the wrath of my deteriorating patience. I am sitting on a bench (mid-transit) with headphones in, typing away on my laptop. She offers me an invitation to church- I immediately decline. It’s early and I’m tired and very eager to be done with the conversation. I can feel her angling for another chance to put the invitation in my hand, so I try to explain “Sorry, I don’t believe in that. I’ve had the chance to think it over because I grew up going to church.”

Her face brightens: “Oh! You did, did you?!”

I can see that my attempt to shut down the conversation has only given her another opening. I quickly try to circle back to my original point. I almost say in my tired curmudgeonly state: “Yes, but I’ve put a lot of thought into it and I have made up my mind. And also, I am very SMART.”

I leave out the smart bit because nobody has ever convinced anyone of anything by stating that they are smart. It has the essence of a child telling you that they are 4 and 4 quarters. It is otherwise inferring that she is not smart, which may be true because I can see that she is still standing in front of me ready to take another swing.  I am very grumpy.

But I would like to say this: a PSA to all Jehovah witnesses, evangelicals and overall zealots. This is for strangers and for the people I grew up with.  I’m incredibly tired of your smug, condescending, inauthentic concern for my soul. I’m not buying it. I’m also not an idiot. I’m not walking around with my head in the clouds waiting for someone to hand me a pamphlet. One sermon isn’t going to change my entire well-thought-out view on the matter.

And also, I am very smart.

Exhale.

Before the lady can start her next pitch, I tell her that I have work to do. She jumps back, startled, and then works her way over to a new victim.

30 Minute Playlist: Tracing a Shadow

Pictures:

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