The air in Brooklyn is crisp tonight.

I’ve woken up several nights in a row at exactly 4:00am. It reminds me that I haven’t quite made my room a home. I feel so awake. I feel too aware. I just want to be shut off but I am so conscious, all thoughts, all here.

It’s around 10:00pm, and I can feel all of the lights in my brain turning on. Fluorescent lighting, all buzzing, all downcast. I grab the joint hidden in my drawer. I grab the matches in the kitchen. I take myself on a walk on this crisp Brooklyn night. I find a little corner and light the joint.

I inhale.

And exhale.

And walk to a Bodega and buy a very big beer.

Am I getting smaller or are tallboys getting bigger?

No, it’s the US of A. Sometimes the whole country is Texan, go big or go home. As I push my dollar bills towards the guy at the counter I decide that maybe for a little bit longer, I’ll take that TALLboy tonight.

I walk around the neighbourhood for a bit. Looping around, blasting The Stones, The Pixies, The Stooges. My headphones have become my home when I can’t quite find it. When I’m finally back in my room it takes my body a whole three songs to thaw from the cold. I evaluate the room again. The bed isn’t in the right spot, the lighting is too bright.

The girl needs a beer.

Small adjustments, but that’s not the game we’re playing. We’re going big.

Cheers. We’re doing this.

30 Minute Playlist: Can’t You Hear Me Knocking