Did you take swimming lessons as a kid? One of the childhood stories we like to tell in our house is how my little sister repeated the first level of swimming lessons… more than a few times.

As a child, she was an obnoxiously sunny kid (this from the perspective of the often forgotten middle child). Her hair was the kind of unnatural white that you can only naturally find on someone who is albino or a descendent of Northern Europe.  Her eyes were so big that when she smiled they disappeared into moonlike slits, and much unlike me, she had no problem walking up to an adult, full of charm, nativity, and with a cute, yet authoritative speech impediment.

She once raged at us older kids, after we commented on her friend being a cute kid: “I’M THE COO-TIST!!”

So what was the reason for repeatedly failing level one of swimming lessons.? The kid wouldn’t get in the pool. She would stand by the edge, big smile on her face, pumping her arms, staying dry. My Mom recounts one failed swimming report card after another. It’s not surprising; you’ve got to get in the pool to get to the next level.

So when I think about where I am right now, I think about that edge of the pool. I know, I know, I know that I can’t snooze on my big jump for much longer. Deadlines are approaching. I’m pumping my arms, I’m trying to smile, I know that I am just as uncharming as I ever. I’m thinking about how nice it is to be dry.

Here are the things that remind me that the jump is worth it:

1. Comedy: a few weeks ago I was in a bit of a creative slump and I wasn’t feeling good about it. I stumbled across a Tig Notaro web series and I remember that good comedy makes me happier than anything else in the world.
2. Jazz: enough said.
3. Challenges: this week, I was reminded that the more challenging the problem, the more rewarding the solution. The higher the stakes, the better the win (and hello, I am competitive).

So I am still at the edge of the pool. Does someone want to spot me? Does someone want to push me in? Does someone want to tell me that I’ll eventually float to the top? Yes?

30 Minute Playlist: JUMP