Yes, and

Yes-and_nov-1 Janneke has just moved her portable jungle into our place. Did you know that having 500 plants in a large, white, sunlit room is immediately calming?

I am painting our kitchen Cloud white. Dreamy right? I personally find this kind of painting to be an odious task. It loses all charm after the 10th ‘w’ (painting experts will know what I’m talking about). I’ve painted three rooms this month. I’ve painted too many rooms this month. I want a trophy.

I felt compelled to host a mid-week dinner. I invited a bunch of friends over and made as much stew as the pots in our kitchen would allow. Three kinds to be exact: beef stew, a vegan stew and spicy peanut butter stew.

The goal was to make it as easy as possible for my guests. I wanted them to come and enjoy each others company without having to worry about bringing a pasta salad. This would have been the bar for success. But something better happened. The atmosphere resembled something closer to a family dinner. Each person found a way to help or add some kind of unexpected touch to the dinner.

Earlier this year at a ski weekend, late into the night (early in the morning?) some friends and I were talking, laughing, singing obnoxious odes to Janneke and her legendary baking. I was drunkenly pontificating about how I wanted to surround myself with “yes, and” people.

In improv (which, to be clear: I have never actually done*) there is a term “yes, and”. The idea is that if one of the actors says “my hair is on fire” the other actor must accept this and then add something new to the equation.

So let’s unpack my drunken, 4:00am metaphor as it relates to social situations:

Yes, Part 1: The absence of ‘no’. In improv, you can’t say ‘no your hair is not on fire.’ That would discourage growth in the story; throw everything off. Yes, my dear, sweet friends: you have the power of free will. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. YOU DO YOU(ish). BUT (maybe) you fight the lethargy, the weather, the annoying commute. Maybe, you don’t say ‘no’. You fight ‘no’. You say…

Yes, Part 2: The presence of ‘yes’. The sooner, the better. RSVP, See You Next Tuesdays**.

Which brings me to…

And: Here is the thing about you. You are great. You are charming. You have that thing. Bring that thing. Is it food? Is it conversation? Is it a penchant for knowing where the fork and knife should rest on the table? (I don’t!). An infectious laugh? An ability to put people at ease. A great hot sauce? A cute dog? A karaoke machine?*** A passion for the artist formally known as Prince?

The point is, had everyone just shown up to Stew Night, I would have been over the moon. But the night was better than that. Because everyone brought something a little extra. Sometimes, you just need a few friends, and

*I have listened to too many comedy podcasts.

**A masked term of endearment. I promise.

***Bring at your own risk, you may never see again.

30 Minute Playlist: Yes, and