Well.

It’s been a motherfucker of a week.

Meaning I’ve worked non-stop and I am now starting to lose my mind (predicted weeks ago-nothing to be concerned about).

Deepak Chopra says this thing about the way we react, he asks: “Which Kathryn is reacting in this way?”

Let’s be more exact: “Which Kathryn is writing this blog?”

The answer to this is: the 3 year old Kathryn throwing a quiet tantrum about working.

My mind is holding ‘the solutions to problems’ for ransom and demanding a break.

Up until this moment I was pretty content to keep working all waking hours. It’s what some might call the ‘protestant work ethic’. I love being enveloped in work. I love deadlines, and shifts and goals. Let’s be clear: this is an addiction.

The problem is that I start the day working in one track (logistics) and then have to switch to another track (creative). They both require a great deal of problem solving but with completely different sides of the brain. I realize that this sounds like a bullshit excuse, but doing this switch is almost as tiring as the work.

I would like to give myself some credit. I am somewhat impressed with how well I am losing my mind. It’s a slow and peaceful descent.

I am lucky to have good friends who love me enough to try to permeate the dome of solitude I have inadvertently umbrela’d around my tired and unavailable self. The end is within reach. We will re-unite. It will feel so good.

And with no sequitur (sequiturs are for rested people): Here are three books that I have attempted to read this week, only to set them down after a page, for fear of squandering what little attention span I have left:

Can I talk about my playlist this week? Yes I can:

Brian Eno – he has been my music companion this week. I have him bookended, and tucked him into this playlist- the first song is like a good friend, middle- energizing, the last is like floating in euphoria. How can you go wrong with that?

Kate Bush – well actually it’s a cover by Ra Ra Riot. I was really feeling her this week but I don’t think she is as palatable. I do however think the idea of being Suspended in Gaffa (Gaffer tape) is exactly how I feel in this moment. wink.

Bjork – Hidden Place. This song is just so fucking good. When I was about 18, my friend Gina gave me a compilation of her music videos. I was a bright-eyed New Media student and so I obviously fell deeply in love with her and with how well the visuals in the videos accompanied the music. Hidden Place is particularly hypnotic/surreal.

 

30 Minute Playlist – The 3 Year Old and Brian Eno